Mandy’s Story: My 12-Year Battle with Prescription Painkillers

Age: 31, first time in treatment
Drugs of Abuse: Opiates and Alcohol
Length of time in treatment: Residential 45 days

What led me to seek treatment: My doctor prescribed opiates for a medical issue. After 12 years, I never even considered that there was a problem. I was in absolute denial. When I stopped taking my prescribed medication, I went into full-blown withdrawal. Had I been able to jump out of a window I would’ve — anything to make the pain stop. I was terrified and realized how out of control my life was. I initially went to Bayside for detox and stayed for the residential program.

What attracted me to Bayside: They take each individual and take a complete look at them to come up with a treatment plan that is so customized for them. Their approach is holistic and comprehensive rather than just 12 Step-based. There are a lot of options available like yoga, tai chi and acupuncture to work on your overall health, not just your addiction.

What was most helpful about treatment: It’s hard to pick one piece of the program that was most helpful. Participating in the entire program, from when I woke up till I went to bed, was really important — being willing to try everything whether or not I thought it was a good idea — because then I found what worked for me.

The most significant piece was the relationships I formed with other clients and staff members. It’s like its own little family where you can be completely open and honest with total strangers. I needed that support system I could come back to that is incredibly supportive and incredibly available. No matter what you’re going through, they’re there to push you forward.

The treatment team is just incredible — bright, consistent, relatable. Treatment is so comprehensive, they leave no room for error. Even many of the housekeeping and gardening staff are in recovery. We’re all there for the same purpose — one lending a hand backward and one reaching out for help. Knowing they understood made me willing to trust in the process.

How treatment affected my life: I feel like it was the beginning of my life. No matter how much I wanted to do things differently, I didn’t have the tools to function properly. Bayside gave me an incredible foundation and forced me to look at things I didn’t want to look at so I could move forward instead of staying stuck.

There is a quality to my life that I didn’t know was possible. I’m really present and mindful of everything. Before, I didn’t know how to be in a relationship that was authentic. Now I have people in my life that are absolute friends and I can show up for them and honor my word and be dependable and reliable. Now my life is stable and complete.

My advice to others struggling with addiction: I know how absolutely empty and worthless the world can feel. I spent my entire life feeling like that. Those feelings can go away, you actually can get better, but it takes hard work and a willingness to change. Being willing to take the first step — terrifying as I know it is — is all it takes.